Granny Crosby "Meder"

Blake's Granny passed away yesterday.  And, I know, because she believed, that she is in heaven, without pain or suffering.
I have been reflecting on my ten years of knowing "Meder."  I connected with her.  She was candid.  If she thought it, she said it.  I saw myself in her, even when her comments were harshly directed at me.  She was always first to tell me if I had gained weight.  As if I didn't know it already.
She was widowed in 1996.  And, though, she was a strong and independent woman, she didn't like to be alone.  She saw her grandchildren growing up and having families of their own and she missed them coming around. 
She loved to cook for all of us.  And, she would always comment that there might not be enough even though she always prepared a feast!  I thought it was sweet that she always prepared everyone's favorite.  She knew Blake and Jeffrey loved "mustard greens" and Travis loved "lemon cake" and Chuck loved "chicken and dumplins" and Wendy loved "chicken and rice".  She made the best fried shrimp, fried chicken, and dressin'.  She actually fried with Crisco.  So, you know it was good!
Her dressin' was cornbread dressin....it was my favorite!  I got the recipe from her one time.  After making it, it wasn't the same.  So, I called her to try to figure out why.  She asked me what I did, so I re-read her the recipe that she had given me.  She told me that wasn't HER recipe.  That was Meder.
I would call and chat with her when she lived at home.  She could be grumpy and I would try to cheer her up.  Any effort I made, she would respond, "Well Jennifer,......"  I think I will always be able to hear the way she said my name.  She always had a come back.  That was Meder.
She had a green thumb and could sew anything.  She had all kinds of secrets about doing things she she would gladly share with you if you just took time to ask the questions and listen.
Blake, Patrick, Olivia, and I went to see her last Sunday at the nursing home.  She had a stroke about three weeks ago and since had been paralyzed on one side and couldn't talk.  I had planned on going in there and saying "Meder, since you can't talk, you can't tell me how fat I am."  Ha ha ha!  Meder and I always jested with each other. 
But, when I saw her and held her hand and touched her hair, I knew I couldn't say it.  I held back tears, as it just broke my heart to see her like that.  I brought her a picture of Patrick and Olivia and showed it to her.  She tried to say something to me, but it just came out as grunts.  That broke my heart because I wanted so bad to know what she was saying.  I couldn't hold back the tears.  We had to leave soon after because other visitors had arrived.  She held my hand, like she didn't want to let go.
As onery as she was, her spirit was never mean, she was filled with truth and love.  I will miss her so much.
I am not good at being serious and I don't have much experience with funerals.  So, I'm struggeling a little with this one.  I know she is in a better place and that she will live as long as she is remembered.
Almedia Williamson Crosby......"Meder," you will live forever in my heart.

Granny Crosby and Patrick, March '05